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Joshua

Posted on March 12, 2010

I’m not even sure where to start!  I feel like I have been playing catch up for awhile, and every time I start to blog, there are simultaneously so many things that I want to write, but then I can’t think of where to start.  Or how I’d explain the last few weeks.  The story I’m about to share is a long time in coming, and I’ve sat down to write it several times and it would never come out right….so let’s see if I can make it through this time….!

Since the end of February, our family took turns with the stomach flu, and just as we were recovering and things were starting to feel normal again, I got a text message. At 2:30 am on Sunday morning, February 28.  it was from my cousin, Kristin, and she was letting us know that she was 5cm dilated and heading to the hospital to deliver her baby.  My heart stopped.

I had a rush of excitement, and at the same time, the reality of what was happening struck me.

See, Kristin and Jon have been waiting and praying for this little baby for a looooong time.  When Kristin had her ultrasound, at the beginning of her second trimester, their world, and ours, turned upside down:

“Your baby doesn’t have kidneys, and it might not have lungs and some of it’s vital organs.  You probably won’t carry it full term, and when you do go into labor, he or she will probably be stillborn.”

So when I looked at my phone, all of the prayers we have prayed for this little baby, all the begging and pleading to God came rushing at me.  I grabbed my camera and left.

This was the first birth I’ve ever photographed.  it’s hard when you have 2 little ones of your own, because if a client goes into labor, I have to scramble to find a sitter and pray that you have a long labor so I can make it in time!!  And trust me, after having 2 kids, I don’t wish a long labor on ANYone!

She was in labor for a little over 12 hours before little Joshua Ezekiel came into this world.  During labor he turned, and she delivered all 4 pounds, 12 ounces of him naturally, and breach!  She was amazing, and watching this little boy come into the world was an experience that I will never forget, and would not trade for anything.  I took as many pictures as possible, between tears and prayers, and as he was born, I held my breath…he was perfectly formed….

but he was too weak.  They laid him on Kristin’s chest, and started rubbing his tiny body.  His heart started and he took some shallow breaths.

As soon as possible, all of the family, 20-some of them, were ushered into the labor and delivery room, to have as much time with him as possible.  There were tears everywhere. people started praying.  It was quiet, but at the same time deafening.  We all took turns holding little Joshua, pressing our noses into his cheek.  Telling him over and over again how beautiful he was, what a miracle he was, how much he was loved.  His little ears heard us singing worship songs to Jesus, thanking Him for this little boy and for the moments that we had with him.

And then he heard His Savior’s voice, and his little body was made perfectly whole and new.  We had him for 45 minutes, but that was more than we were told that we would ever have.  He shouldn’t have come this far, or made it so long.

He was an absolute miracle.

Since that afternoon, people have asked …what was it like?  The only,way I can describe it was that the delivery room felt crowded with the Presence of God.  There was so much of Him that it was hard to breathe. It was filled to the brim with a Peace that cannot be explained and that defies all logic.

Normally, birth photos such as these are so intimate and personal, that they wouldn’t be shared.  However, Jon and Kristin want people to hear their story.  Not so that you will feel bad because they lost their son. but because on that day, when they were faced with the greatest heartache that a parent can ever experience, they had the chance -  and by all human logic and reasoning, the “right” -  to be angry and question God.  But instead, all they could reply to Him was, “Jesus, you give and you take away.  Blessed be your name”.

So I want to share these photos with you, with their permission.  As I sat at my computer, sorting and editing, I realized that this would have been enough.  If I only opened my studio and spent the last three years of my business building to this moment.  If these were the only images I ever produced, it would be enough.  Not because they’re perfect by any stretch, but because God allowed me to play a role in this child’s life.  Because I am now able to give Jon and Kristin images of their child that they would only have in a hazy memory.  I am completely humbled.  and I now understand that whether I ever take another picture or not is beyond my control.  Whether anyone compliments my work is really trivial and irrelevant.  When faced with unfathomable sorrow and situations that are out of my control, the only thing that matters is Jesus Christ and him crucified.  In that time, that is the only sustaining Power I have left.  and it is more than enough.

I read al ot pf photographers’ blogs and forums and have talked with some amazing, very well intentioned artists who always say – “never, under any circumstance, talk about God or politics on your professional website”.

I feel like at this point I’m supposed to apologize if you landed on here and you’re only interested in asking me about wedding photography…but I’m not going to, at the risk of being misunderstood.  I can not apologize for the air that I breathe.  In all honesty, my photography is NOT my driving passion.  I don’t live my life wondering how I can further promote my studio.  I love what I do and would not change my life for anything, but after sharing in little Joshua’s life and feeling my own love and faith grow, I was reminded how temporal everything else is and how our lives can change in an instant.  If I can somehow use what I have to preserve what would otherwise be lost, then really, that’s all that matters, and everything else is beyond my control anyways.

Will some of you read this and decide not to book me? maybe.  and that is absolutely fine.  but if one word of this has made you question how far you would go to find Hope and Peace, then I know that I have done enough.

If you’d like to see the video of images from Joshua’s birth, visit Jon & Kristin’s facebook page.  It’s only a few minutes long and well worth it…



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little Selah

Posted on February 26, 2010

So it’s about time for some new posts around here!  I thought things would slow down this winter…I’d finally be able to finish up the house…pretend I’m really domestic and have a baking day….sew something….

nope.

I’m definitely not complaining!  This has been a great few weeks, but I feel like my mind is back in November.

of 2007.

So, here are some more pictures that I want to share because it’s about time that I resurface and get some updates going! These photos below are of Selah.

Selah is the little bundle of joy that was adopted by some of our dear friends, Karl & Danielle (you can read about their journey in adopting her from Africa at Danielle’s blog).  She is the little bundle of gentleness, dresses and lace in a house with 3 older brothers.  But do not be fooled – she can hold her own!  She is one loved little girl and the perfect addition to the family!  It was such an honor to take their family pictures and I hope you enjoy!

Happy Friday!



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  • lindsey weber says:




Did he pop the question this weekend?

Posted on February 17, 2010

THEN EMAIL ME! Dates are filling up fast for 2010 and there is a post Valentine’s Day rush every year, so if your man popped the question this past Sunday, email me with your date to see if it is still available! 

PLUS….
Be the first bride to book for 2011 and receive a $200 print credit when you make your deposit!!! 

and because it’s been way toooooo long since I posted a picture, check out these images from Chris and Amy’s January wedding. They’ve been on here before, but they are quickly becoming some of my favorites….so here they are again! 

 

 

 

and stay tuned…there are some changes coming and that’s why things have been a little quiet on my end!  Keep checking back for some new updates!!!!



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